Best Holiday Gifts for Pregnant or New Moms
Struggling with what holiday gifts to get for the pregnant…
2 weeks ago I went on my “babymoon,” which is something I:
a) didn’t think I would ever do (or want to do)
b) now that I’ve done it, can’t imagine NOT doing
My hubby and I struggled with the idea of a “babymoon”- it sounds so cheesy and excessive. It’s just a vacation! Call it that!! And it’s such a #thing, especially here in LA, that I rolled my eyes at the idea. And then there’s the issue of WHERE??? I had always envisioned jetting off to Cabo or Puerto Vallarta for a few romantic days. But now with the threat of Zika, Mexico is off limits. Then I was toying with the idea of something local, but I know me and my hubby, and we do not relax unless we are out of our area code. So I knew we had to get outta dodge.
I was talking to my Mom about her pregnancy with me, and she kept going on and on about the beauty of Hawaii (I was born in Honolulu)— the sweet air, afternoon rain showers, swimming in the ocean all day, the fresh fruit and chill vibe of the Islands…
And just like that, I was sold.
It made sense– to go back to my birthplace, carrying my own daughter, and complete this circle of life. I’m so #emo (not just now during pregnancy, but always) and it made me bawl just to think of it. I looked at all of the islands and what they have to offer, and decided on Kauai. It’s the most northern of the islands, and the most rural and untouched (besides Molakai which tourists aren’t encouraged, and Lenai, which was too remote for us). They call it The Garden Isle ’cause it’s so lush, and who doesn’t love a garden?
We stayed at the St. Regis in Princeville, which was stunning. I’m not a big spender (I clip coupons and love a bargain), but had gotten a deal there so I splurged. Just this once. And boy, was it worth it. The room, our view, the hotel – everything about it was decadent and stunning and traditional “Old Hawaii” which was exactly what I was looking for.
Now even though it was amazing, the fact still remains that my husband and I aren’t great at relaxing, so it took us a good 2 days out of 5 to chill out. We were up every morning before 6 am (3 hour time change is reeeeeal tricky), went to the gym, hiked around the property, went out for breakfast, and were at the beach by 9 am. We explored the entire island (note: rent a car, totes worth it!!!), went on an incredible helicopter tour (most of the island is unreachable by car so it’s the only way to see it!!) and ate alllllll of the shaved ice. And we were in bed at 9pm. Nailed it!
And the whole time, I was just kinda treating this like a normal vacay, (without all the beverages LOL). I was very good at ignoring the elephant in the room which was: THIS IS OUR BABYMOON! The last vacay just the two of us! Before our lives change forever! Before baby comes! It was all too deep and immense to think about, so I compartmentalized it, which I am very good at.
But then, on our last night there, I lost it. On our way to dinner in our tiny rental car, I was sweating and crying and snotting everywhere. I sobbed and wept like I never have.
Through snots, I was able to articulate all I had been keeping bottled up for…. maybe this entire pregnancy: I was going to be a Mom. And all of my thoughts and energy were going to go to this tiny person we created, whom I have yet to meet, but whom I already love more than anything. And I am already mourning NOT being pregnant. I’ve gotten so used to her being with me, taking her everywhere I go, protecting her from the outside world. She’s my bestie! And in a couple of short months, I she will be outside of me, and I will be empty, and I won’t be able to protect her anymore. And am I ready….? Can I do this….? It’s just too much to think about, so I hadn’t really until then, and my heart (and tear ducts) just burst open.
Jason, as always, is my rock, and stroked my hair and hand and told me all the right things: that it was all going to be ok, and that I’m already the best Mommy to our Baby, that we are ready and going to be great parents. He shared his own concerns and thoughts, and for the first time, I saw him as a Daddy, a man who will protect our daughter and love her unconditionally.
I took a deep, deep breath, and I felt so close to him, to our baby, to our new life that we are forging together. And as I wiped the snot away, I felt a sense of relief; to get all that off my chest and be honest with where I am at, and to know that I’m not alone in this.
And you guys – that was the babymoon! Not the vacation and the fancy hotel or the mocktails. That moment of bonding, meeting each other, hearing each other. That was it.
To all you out there who are expecting and are toying with the idea of a “babymoon,” I would encourage you to GO! Go somewhere and take a moment. It doesn’t have to be a fancy trip, or a huge vacation… it can be anything, even just a moment in your backyard. But, take the time. Carve out a special moment for you and your partner to check in, really see each other and hear each other. After all, you’re in this together and all you’re got is each other, so honor that.
Time goes super fast during pregnancy, and we are so swamped with doc appointments and registry stuff and baby showers and unsolicited advice from people, that we miss the big picture: this is about you and your partner and your Baby. That’s it. So take time for the 3 of you somehow, some way. You won’t regret it. I feel like it changed everything for me and Jas, and we came back excited and refreshed and ready to dive in. Here we go!
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